Author Archives: kaeve

On a New Year.

I had half-forgotten about this blog. A nice comment on a post here suddenly reminded me of it. Why haven’t I written here in so long? I don’t know who could be asking, but I will try to answer anyway.

The boring but honest answer is that I hadn’t felt like it. I wasn’t busy. Nor was nothing happening that I couldn’t write about. In fact, had I wished to, I could have written about something (hopefully) interesting once every couple of weeks in the second half of last year.

For instance, the nature of relationships, and how not all of them are the vanilla egalitarian ones we seem to think of when the topic arises. Specifically, the issue of mind games playing a quintessential role in the relationship. I had the pleasure of exploring and discussing this issue from what I consider to be sufficiently many points of view (for now). In fact, one of these days, when I feel wistful and long for the keyboard, I might just come back and commit to words all my thoughts on the matter.

Did I say “when I feel wistful”? I meant “if”. And therein lies the issue.

One of my friends calls it existential ennui. That feeling of being lost and helpless. Heck, probably alone too.

I feel like I’ve written enough for today. I am certain I haven’t answered my question to any degree of satisfaction, but maybe I will one of these days. I will in fact be writing semi-regularly here again. Why, one might ask? Because I have been given the unenviable honour of coming up with questions for a contest that is happening way too early for me to feel good about it. In order to vent, hopefully, I will come here. And this time I have structure!

You see, these questions are (hopefully going to be) based on the Labours of Hercules. And there are 12 of them. I will attempt to base my rants on these labours and my memories of the book of the same name by Agatha Christie. I highly recommend the book.

That is all.


A conversation in the aether.

Shame on you. I forgot how to. Dad taught me a long while back. So? Chess is like riding a bike. I never played after that. And I was very little then. I only vaguely remember him teaching. Another vague memory from then is him trying to explain how to tell time by looking at a clock. Clocks != chess. It just means that it was a long time back. Teach me sometime. Wheeeeeeeen? Next week. When I borrow the jigsaw puzzle. Wokay. Put it in your calendar. I will. I’m bored.

Ooga booga booga.

Bum bum bee.

Fee fi fo fum.

Ugla igla bligla.

I have a good knock knock joke.

Let’s hear it.

Okay. You go first.

No no. Dazzle me with your brilliant sense of humour first.

I insist. Ladies first.
It’s 11.41.

Yes it is. Maybe he’ll leave us early. Let’s be optimistic. For a change.

Awesome autocorrect na?

Actually.
I could really get used to this.

You can you can. Now see why I don’t like the android keyboard?

Yeah. But I’m not going to get myself a new phone anytime soon.

Hehe. iPad? Oh. Conflict with phone. Don’t type there then 😀

This phone I’ve had for less than a year and yeah I just got an iPad. Doesn’t feel right to get new phone already.

Who cares about feelings? 😛
(I know I’m being hypocritical)
What would you do with a cheque for 30k?

Right now? I’d put it in my account.

When would you not?

Get an iPhone? 😛

No no, when? You said right now you wouldn’t.

When I have gotten over the iPad guilt and this current phone really needs to be replaced. I still doubt I’ll let myself get an iPhone but let’s see.

Haha. First world problems.

India technically isn’t there yet you know.

Better than saying “rich people problems” 😛

Haha. True that.

*dat 😛


On wildly differing opinions.

I’ve just watched The Family, starring Robert de Niro and Michelle Pfeiffer. I loved it. Most reviews I read after, however, did not. In fact, they found it rather boring. I was bemused. I wouldn’t have been surprised at mild criticism, but this was full on foundation attacking.

The movie features lots of gratuitous violence. Lots. Loooooots. It is hilarious. All the members of the eponymous family are insane. The father kills people at the drop of a hat, the mother blows up buildings, the daughter beats people to a pulp with tennis racquets, and the son is a manipulative schemer who nevertheless seems rather tame compared to the rest of the bunch. They are hilarious. This is comedy done very well. Why did very few other people think so?

It’s not a matter of subtlety. The movie is such a farce that you cannot help but not take it seriously. I can understand some people not getting that. Their reviews make sense from this point of view, that they never understood it was not “serious”. But still not all. Some people were rather condescending of it as well.

Ah well. I liked it. I think you should watch it as well, if for nothing else but to enjoy a scene that employs Gorillaz’ Clint Eastwood rather effectively. And, of course, to see which camp you fall in.


On Baldness.

I used to hate getting haircuts.

Now I shave my head every few months.

I hated it with a fury that is hard for me to explain. I did not like it at all. The whole experience. The glasses being taken away. The silence. Or the conversation. (Both are bad.)

The first time I shaved my head (voluntarily; I won’t go into the many Tirupati trips) was March, last year. I don’t quite remember why. I was frustrated. And I didn’t want to deal with it. I had no control over the situation, so I desperately did at least one thing I could do that was in my power.

I hated going alone, too. Usually went with father. And usually got a Frankie or something as a treat after. It was… tolerable.

The second time was less thought. It had all grown back and I didn’t like how it was. So instead of fixing it, I just took it all off again. Was there a third time? I think so. Same reason. And yesterday was the fourth time.

The barber in the hostel is pretty nice.


On Swearing.

I don’t like it when people swear unnecessarily. By unnecessarily I mean anything on the order of “that was fucking awesome!” at something middlingly interesting, or “fuck off” to mean “shut up” or… you get the point.

My reasons? Well, because it devalues the force of you swearing. If you’re the kind of person who says “fuck” every few sentences, it’s going to be very hard for people to differentiate an emotional, forceful expletive from all the “background” ones. I don’t swear, right, so if I do ever say “fuck” in an even slightly serious context, the people I’m with take it very seriously. Immediately. I say “shut the fuck up” and they shut the fuck up alright.

I don’t mean to say you’re wrong if you swear a lot though. This cannot be either right or wrong. All a matter of taste and utility.

However, I seem to take quite perverse pleasure in characters in books or movies or series who swear. A lot. My recent favourite is Malcolm Tucker, from the highly recommended The Thick Of It. Here are a few selected quotations:

FUCK’S SAKE! JESUS CHRIST! Well, now we’ve got another fucking adjective to add to fucking ‘smug’ and ‘glum’, haven’t we? ‘FUCKING RETARDED!’ Do you think it would not just be germane to check who you’re talking to? IT’S A FUCKING NEWSPAPER OFFICE! IT’S NOT A FUCKING SANATORIUM FOR THE FUCKING DEAF! ARE YOU SO DENSE?! AM I GONNA HAVE TO RUN AROUND SLAPPING BADGES ON PEOPLE WITH A BIG TICK ON SOME AND A BIG CROSS ON OTHERS SO YOU KNOW WHEN TO SHUT YOUR GOB AND WHEN TO OPEN IT?! JESUS CHRIST, THAT’D PROBABLY CONFUSE YOU AS WELL, WOULDN’T IT? THAT’D BE TOO CONFUSING, YOU’D SEE THE CROSS AND GO ‘OH, FUCK, X MARKS THE SPOT! I’D BETTER TELL THIS LITTLE PERSON ABOUT THE PRIME MINISTER’S FUCKING CATASTROPHIC ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION!’ Oh, but not to worry, not to worry. You’ve sent fucking Olly over there to deal with it. FUCKING OLLY! HE’S A FUCKING, HE’S A FUCKING KNITTED SCARF, THAT TWAT! HE’S A FUCKING BALACLAVA!

You breathe a word of this to anyone, you mincing fucking CUNT, and I will tear your fuckin’ skin off, I will wear it to your mother’s birthday party and I will rub your nuts up and down her leg whilst whistling Bohemian fuckin’ Rhapsody, right? Now get out of my fucking sight!

Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off

I quite enjoyed those. I don’t know why exactly.

Specifically, I don’t know if I like it because of the context it’s spoken in and thus because of the excellence of the story, or because I don’t swear myself and so this is like some sort of weirdo post-deprivation wish fulfilment thing.

I’m leaning more towards the first. Because everything I’ve seen that could be considered crass also had quite nice stories. That said, I’ve never (as far as I remember, anyway) given up something profane because of the story, so I don’t know.


On Treasure.

Treasure Planet will always be a special movie to me. I watched it first a very long time ago, when I was rather little. Maybe 10 years old. I liked it for a few reasons. I had just recently read a comic version of Robert Louis Stevenson’s Treasure Island, on which this movie was loosely (but also surprisingly thoroughly when not loosely) based. I also fell in love with this idea of building upon a story. I used to think of stories as immutable objects that were told. After this, I made up my own stories set in worlds that I had read about. Or invented worlds for characters I liked. I don’t think I can go so far as to say my love of science fiction stems from this movie, but it sure didn’t hurt!

The movie didn’t do too well at the box office, or so Wikipedia tells me. It’s a pity really. The story is quite good, both the original and what they’ve done with it. It has two of the best songs ever. Tangent:

I’m Still Here, and Always Know Where You Are. Those are the two songs. The first plays over a montage that shows Jim and Silver bonding like father and son, and the second plays over the credits. I fell in love with these songs the instant I heard them. I wanted so badly to listen to them again, but I was young and this was before I knew about the internet. So I used to wait for the Disney channel to air the movie. I watched it every single time it did. After my fifth or sixth viewing, I thought I would record it. Mother had just got herself a fancy (by 2003 standards anyway) phone with a camera that takes videos. So I recorded the end credits one time. It was awful. I loved it. I listened to that racket for hours on end.

When I did find out about the internet, I still didn’t know I could get these songs. I didn’t know what they were called. I don’t think I knew what Wikipedia was. So one time, while I was in an Internet cafe for no real reason, I googled “treasure planet songs” until I found a website where I heard it playing. I was so happy. I didn’t know how or even if I could download it. I just listened. It sounded so crystal clear and perfect.

These songs have played quite important roles in my life. They sum up so many emotional events so succinctly. Even their titles invoke such deep memories — I’m Still Here. Whenever I mean that, when I talk to someone, I capitalise those words.

Why am I writing about this? I just watched it again. For what is probably the fifteenth time ever, but the first time in years. And I’m currently looping over the montage with I’m Still Here.

Nostalgia. Sigh.


On the lack of regular updates here.

I should write more often. I want to. But, to be honest, I’m not sad or lonely or empty enough (or happy or excited or giddy enough) to. I need some non-neutral emotion fuelling my writing.

Why am I writing this? Good question. I suppose I feel guilt. Someone read my blog yesterday and all they read was the umbrella post. Call it hubris if you will, but I want that person to have been able to read something better. Or longer.

Have I not been up to much? On the contrary. I’ve been up to loads. Or at least, enough that I will find it a chore to document now that the excitement has worn off. I won’t tell you just yet because I don’t want to leave you hanging. More on this, hopefully, later.

Anyway. What to do now? I don’t know. Let’s see.